


Lost Without You

by ineffableramseysnow



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bella Swan with a Backbone, M/M, Non-Canon Lore, OOC everyone, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Vampires, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:14:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28769166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineffableramseysnow/pseuds/ineffableramseysnow
Summary: Jacob Black has been summoned home by his estranged father to learn more about his heritage. As Jake struggles to find his place amongst his people, things only get more complicated when he’s warned to stay away from a mysterious boy he meets.-Title from Without You by Oh Wonder
Relationships: Jacob Black/Edward Cullen
Comments: 43
Kudos: 99





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **A/N** Inspired by several works that involve Jake as the protagonist starting Forks High School as a new student.

Jacob Ephraim Black was picked up from the airport in a police car. 

He looked at the paper sign bearing his name, the policeman holding it and walked over with a smirk. “Am I in trouble already?” His eyes flicked quickly to the name tag on the man’s jacket. “ _Captain Swan_?”

“Charlie.” The older man extended his hand and Jake shook it, albeit begrudgingly. “I’m a friend of your Dad’s. He’s outside waiting in the car. This all you got kiddo?”

Jake frowned a bit at the sentiment but nodded anyway. One backpack, one large-ish suitcase on wheels. It wasn’t much, but that didn’t matter. This was only temporary. 

The pair walked out into a fine grey drizzle towards the cruiser parked nearby. Charlie unlocked the trunk so that Jake could put the suitcase inside next to the neatly folded up wheelchair. He hung on to his backpack as he slid into the back seat under the scrutiny of Billy Black. 

“You cut your hair.” The statement sounded more accusatory than Jake thought it had any right to be.

_Nice to see you too, Dad._

“I like it,” he grit out, running a hand through the dark curls for good measure, while also thinking _fuck you, fuck off, fuck this._

It had been an impulse decision for sure. Even the barber had looked a little uncertain as he’d chopped off the bulk of Jake’s hair. But then it had started to take shape, shaved close at the back and sides and kept slightly longer on top. He was delighted to see the natural wave in it, just like his Mom’s. 

Jake regretted nothing. 

Billy let out a non-committal grunt and turned back round in his seat.

The rest of the journey was silent, except for when Police Captain Charlie Swan ( _ugh, because of course his estranged father was buddies with the local law, of course he was_ ) fiddled with the radio ten minutes in, soft rock filling the awkward air around the three of them.

Jake took his phone out and mindlessly checked his social media, the news, the weather app for Forks, Washington.

 _Still raining then_ , he thought and sighed, letting his head thunk back against the edge of his seat. He was asleep within minutes, and dreamed of nothing.

***

“I don’t want to go.”

“You don’t have to go. You have a choice.”

“It sort of feels like I don’t.” 

His Mom, Sarah, looked at him with her jaw set as they sat at the kitchen table, Billy’s letter between them. 

“There’s _always_ a choice.” Her features softened then, and Jake felt his resolve waiver. “But - but I do think it’s worth getting to know a bit more about your heritage. Before -“

“Before what?”

His Mom sighed, looking wary. “Before you decide on anything concrete about your future. College. That sort of thing.” She smiled at him, squeezed his hand in hers. “Besides, you might like it there.”

“Don’t bet on it.”

“So stubborn.”

Jake grinned. “Hm, wonder where I got that from?” 

“Summer in La Push was always nice,” she said with a shrug.

Jake rolled his eyes and let out a little huff. 

“I can come back here if I hate it?” His voice came out much smaller than he intended.

“Of _course_ you can,” his Mom said, reaching out for him. 

They embraced for a long time, and when they finally broke apart, she looked a bit tearful. It made Jake’s chest hurt. 

“And I really _can’t_ learn more about my heritage via email? Skype?” He asked after a beat. “Wikipedia?”

She chuckled and squeezed his hand again. “Just give it a chance.”

“Alright,” he said, his resolve all but gone. “On one condition…”

***

Forks High School looked just like any other high school really - square, squat and grey. But _small_. And he was starting part way through the year. 

Jake peered up at the building through the windshield.

In a surprising turn of events, Billy had given him a truck. He’d parked next to a newish looking silver Volvo and decided to give himself a minute before heading inside, relishing the toasty warmth of the cab.

The Chevy was a massive rumbly thing that Jake fell in love with on sight. It drove terribly, and he was sure it would always be on the verge of breaking down in the middle of nowhere. Perhaps that was Billy’s cunning plan - that Jake would get sick of fixing it, of schlepping back and forth to FHS in a pile of shit that was built in the fifties and concede, going to school with the other teenagers on the reservation instead. 

_I need somewhere that I can be on my own, just for a little bit._

He’d insisted on attending the high school in town when he realised ‘learning about his heritage’ would mean being on the reservation 24/7 with virtual strangers who behaved as if he was their long-lost brother. It was...weird. He’d wanted somewhere he could be anonymous, if only for a little while. 

Jake hitched his backpack up, slamming the truck door shut with a worrisome squeak-and-rattle and headed inside. 

The administrative office was easy to find, and he waited patiently at the front desk while ‘Ms Cope’ left to find his class paperwork, informing that another student would be along shortly to show him round.

Behind him, the office door opened with a whine and was quickly kicked shut with a hard slam. Jake peered over his shoulder. 

The girl looked about his age. She had dark wavy hair that fell over the shoulders of an olive parka, a satchel slung across her body. 

“Where’s Judith?” She asked, scowling up at him.

“Who’s -“

“Ah-ha! Here we are!” Ms Cope’s sing-song voice drew his attention back and she smiled warmly, waving a sheaf of papers in his direction. “I knew I’d - oh for fu - what is it this time? It’s not even nine AM.”

Her eyes had landed on the girl, who had elbowed her way past Jake to stand at the high desk next to him. The warm smile had vanished. 

“A case of mistaken identity?” The girl slid a piece of paper across the desk towards her. 

Ms Cope - Judith? - took the paper, read it and sighed, long and exasperated. “It says here you were caught - _caught_ \- defacing the door to the gymnasium with spray paint.”

“‘Defacing’.” The girl snorted with derision. “Would you say the same about Banksy?”

“You’re not Banksy, Miss Swan. What did you write? Or...draw? Do I even _want_ to know?”

 _Miss_ _Swan?_ Jake thought, watching the exchange with speculative interest. _Surely not..._

The girl just shrugged, idly drumming her fingers against the desk. 

Ms Cope nodded towards the row of chairs lining the wall of the office and the girl dutifully went to take a seat, pulling her coat and bag off before dumping them on the adjacent chair. She pulled a book out and started to read, one leg tucked comfortably under the other dangling one, a converse-clad foot swinging back and forth. Jake peered at the cover. 

_Florence & Giles. _

He didn’t know it. 

When he looked back at Ms Cope, she shook her head and smiled at him again, handing over a few sheets of paper and a small plastic card with his face on it.

“Class schedule. Map. Student ID. You may take a seat while - ah! Never mind.”

Ms Cope looked past him and Jake followed her gaze as another student slipped inside. It was a guy this time, slender and smiling.

“Hey! I’m Eric. Eric Yorkie.” He offered a little wave. “You must be Jacob Black. Welcome to Forks High School.”

Over on the chairs, the girl let out an amused sound and slowly turned a page. Eric flicked a frowning glance her way but otherwise ignored her. 

“Just Jake is fine,” Jake said. “And uh, thanks. Shall we go?” 

Eric looked very pleased about this and nodded, holding the door open for him to leave. 

“See ya Banksy,” said Jake, making his way out.

The girl didn’t look up, but he caught the tiniest flicker of a smile tug at her mouth as they left. 

The remainder of his morning passed without incident, though he quickly realised that he wouldn’t be as anonymous here as he had hoped. A boy from the reservation suddenly cropping up at their high school sparked quite the interest in his fellow students. They were nice enough, and helpful, but there were _so many questions_ . By the time lunch rolled round, Jake had had quite enough of the scrutiny _thank you very much_ and snagged a sandwich from the cafeteria, heading outside into a rare moment of no rain. He sat at an empty picnic bench and let the glorious silence wash over him.

_Perhaps this had been a stupid fucking idea._

_Perhaps you’re being a bit dramatic._

He took his phone out and fired off a quick message to his Mom.

**First day going fine so far, people seem nice. Billy got me a truck. Res kids are okay too, they’re a bit much though. Did I leave my blue hoodie at home? If so can you send it to me? Miss you x**

He hit send and locked the screen, feeling a bit sad. He stared at the blank screen for a while, hoping she’d message him back straight away. When nothing was forthcoming, he sighed. 

And then, a shadow passed across his screen.

Jake looked behind him, startled by the movement. There was nothing there, no one. 

He was completely alone.

It was something of a relief to be in AP Bio. Jake found science reassuring - the facts, the processes and components. Hypothesis, experiment, evidence, result. It also marked the end of what was starting to feel like a very long day. When he entered the classroom, he was also pleasantly surprised to see that nobody seemed fussed by his presence at all, not even the teacher. 

“Edward doesn’t have a lab partner yet,” said Mr Banner, pointing at an empty table next to the window. “You can sit there. We’re on chapter four, _cellular structure and function._ You’ll need to catch up in your own time if you want to stay in my class, Jacob.”

“It’s just Jake actually,” he replied, but Banner blinked at him and returned to writing on the board, signalling the end of the conversation. 

He supposed he should be offended by the perfunctory dismissal, but he was glad of the reprieve of standing up in front of everyone and describing himself. 

_Hi I’m Jake, I just moved here from Boston. I live with my Dad in La Push. My favourite colour is blue. I hate cauliflower. I like listening to Pearl Jam. I’m good at running. No, I don’t play any sports._

He sat at his desk and opened his textbook, reading in relative peace as the remaining students filed in one by one. He only looked up again when the stool next to him was dragged out sharply, making him jump. 

He looked up to be met with a pair of glaring eyes, pupils blown so wide Jake wasn’t sure he saw any iris colour at all just _blackblackblack_. 

He looked back down at his textbook quickly. 

_Jesus fuck. My lab partner is on drugs._

Jake swallowed thickly as his lab partner - Edward - murmured _‘just fucking wonderful’_ under his breath as he unpacked his things and settled in. Jake steeled his resolve and turned towards the other boy. 

“Hi I’m -“

“I know who you are,” Edward interrupted, his voice low and hostile as he flicked through his own book, ignoring Jake completely.

And that, Jake thought, was that.

Except it wasn’t, because Edward’s hostility only seemed to grow as the class went on. 

Jake stole furtive glances at him as Banner lectured from the front of the room. Edward had a distinctively tangled mess of bronze hair that curled slightly at the tops of his ears. Jake decided they were roughly the same height as each other, although his build was more lithe. Not skinny though, Jake noted, watching as the muscles flexed under the skin of his pale forearms. Beneath the table, his left hand was curled into a fist, clenched tight and unyielding against his leg.

 _What the actual fuck?_

Jake felt the urge to poke the back of Edward’s hand. The way you might poke at a sore tooth with your tongue. He blushed, feeling immediately horrified with himself at the thought of groping a complete stranger. 

_No, not groping._

_Poking._

_Not that that’s any better..._

And then Edward was leaning away, as if he’d heard Jake’s thought about poking him, which only made Jake blush even harder.

So that’s how the next hour went. With Jake sat in silent, flushed confusion and Edward sat in silent...whatever, as they both took diligent notes on cell division until the bell went at precisely 3 o’clock. 

Edward practically launched himself out of the classroom before the bell had even stopped ringing, leaving Jake frozen, feeling completely dumbfounded by the whole encounter.


	2. Chapter 2

Dinners with Billy had felt, thus far, slightly awkward for the simple fact that they didn’t talk at all. So it came as something of a surprise when they sat down for their shared evening meal and he asked Jake about his day.

“How was the truck?” He asked first, oversalting his potatoes.

Jake glanced at his father, but the older man wasn’t looking his way. Just _salt salt salt._

“Good,” he lied.

It had made a weird noise on the way back, one that could only be described as a sort of screech-grind-gurgle as he’d shifted gear pulling up to the house. He wasn’t about to admit that to Billy though, wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction that the truck was dodgy and Jake had had a mild panic about it. He’d tinker around with it later.

“Classes ok?” 

“Mhm,” Jake offered, slicing into his chicken. “Shouldn’t take long to catch up.”

“You’re behind?”

“Not so much so that it’ll be a problem.”

Billy gave a gruff sort of acquiescence that Jake was starting to become familiar with.

“What are the others like?”

The emphasis on the word _others_ was not lost on Jake. Billy had made no secret of his disapproval that his son wasn’t attending school in La Push, and it didn’t seem like he would be okay with it any time soon.

“They were fine.”

“Any trouble?”

Jake snorted. “ _Trouble_?”

And then, rather inexplicably, he thought: _Edward._

Which was weird, because it’s not like Jake thought his new lab partner would cause him any actual problems - in fact, he seemed perfectly content to just ignore Jake altogether. If he was the sort of person who believed in auras, then Edward’s quite distinctly would have said this: _fuck off_.

Still, he was fairly certain that wasn’t the kind of trouble Billy had been referring to and when he looked up, he was met with his fathers gaze from across the table, watching him carefully.

Jake shook his head with a small sigh. “No. No trouble.”

Billy nodded, and said nothing more. The rest of dinner passed in a quiet peace and Jake washed up after. In the background he could hear the low tone of a football game from the living room as he set the dishes in the drying rack. He was almost finished when the doorbell went. He heard his father’s chair wheel out to the hall and the door open before footsteps approached.

“Hey man!” 

“Jakey-Jake!”

Jake turned around to see two familiar faces entering the kitchen. Billy hadn’t followed - these were people he approved of. 

Embry and Quil lived on the reservation too and Jake had to admit in the little time he’d been there, these two were kind of growing on him. The others...well, time would tell. 

Quil clapped him on each shoulder and sat up on the counter, as if this was something he’d always done. Embry pulled out a chair and sat at the table, rolling his eyes at Quil but laughing at him anyway. 

“So how was the big first day with the pale faces?” Quil asked. 

“‘Pale faces’?” Jake gave him a look but Quil just shrugged it off, grin firmly in place. “It was...fine. Kinda weird.”

“Weird?” Embry spoke up, his brows knitting together in concern. 

“Yeah, just - a lot of questions. Felt like I was being interrogated all day.” Jake shrugged. “Novelty of a new guy I guess. I’m sure it’ll have worn off by tomorrow.”

Quil waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. “What’s the girl situation like there?” 

“ _Girl situation?_ ” Embry scoffed. “Fuck Quil, you can’t stop thinking with your dick for five seconds?”

“How dare you.” Quil did his best to look mortally offended. “I _can.._.but why would I _want_ to?” 

Embry just rolled his eyes again and Jake laughed, throwing a dish towel at Quil.

“I was a bit more focused on trying not to get lost but I’ll keep you posted.” 

“So, uh...we were thinking of planning a trip to the beach soon,” said Embry, “you up for it?”

“Sure sounds fun,” Jake replied with a half-hearted shrug, and the pair shared a smile.

Truthfully, he liked Embry a little more than Quil. He was a bit quieter than everyone else he’d met so far in La Push, and it felt like he empathised with how Jake was feeling. 

It had been overwhelming being welcomed back - welcomed _home_ \- by people he only had a vague memory of if at all. There had even been a homecoming party. He’d fallen into easy conversation with the group of guys his own age, but every time he tried to take a breather he’d just get dragged back in with a brotherly arm around his shoulders.

Embry had been the one to tell them to give him a fucking break. He’d said it in a joking-but-not-really way and the group had dispersed not long after. Jake had met up with most of them since - there wasn’t much to actually do until he started school - but he always found that he would gravitate more towards Embry, always quiet and calm. 

And Quil…

“Maybe you could befriend some lovely ladies and invite them too?” He suggested. 

Embry groaned into his hands as Jake laughed, promising that he would do his best. 

*******

Jake had been right about the novelty of him wearing off in school, and he was kind of amazed how quickly he fell into a routine of sorts. He sat with different people at lunch, not quite fitting in to a particular group yet which he liked. He managed to keep up in his classes during the day, and used his quickly dwindling free time in the evenings to fill in the gaps he missed. Even dinners with Billy were becoming less awkward. They talked a little more and even hung out once in a while watching TV together. 

It was all so normal, except for one tiny part.

It wasn’t like he’d _forgotten_ about all the Edward-weirdness, but it was definitely taking a backseat to everything else going on in his life. Besides, _Jake_ wasn’t the one with the problem after all. And it had become abundantly clear that Edward did have a problem.

The only other classes that they shared were English and History, and when Jake had first spotted him in each he was definitely met with a glare. Part of him wanted to think he was being paranoid, particularly as Edward didn’t seem to talk to anyone else. But he also didn’t glare at them either. So. 

After a while, Jake just tuned him out. Sure he was still aware of him, Edward was like a grumpy little cloud with eternally messy hair, hovering in the periphery of Jake’s brain. 

But he wouldn’t let it get to him, he _wouldn’t._

Still, he felt a small and unwelcome moment of trepidation before walking into his next Bio class and saw Edward already sitting at their table, chin resting on his hand as he stared out of the window. 

“Oh don’t worry, Cullen doesn’t bite.”

Jake turned as someone pushed past him into the classroom. It was the girl from the admin office.

_The infamous Forks High School vandal, Miss Swan._

Jake raised his eyebrows at her. “How do you know?”

“I guess I don’t,” she laughed, and tilted her head for him to follow as she started to move. “Come on, you’ve already survived being thrown to the wolves this week, and he’s not that bad.”

Jake huffed out a small chuckle, and then a thought occurred to him. “Hey, are you - is Charlie Swan your Dad?”

She scrunched her nose a bit as she turned back to look at him. “Yeah. I’m Bella.”

The first bell rang and Mr Banner called out for everyone to start taking their seats.

“Once more unto the breach, Jacob Black.” Bella gave his arm a commisatory little pat-pat before abandoning him at his table.

Jake settled into his seat and took out his things, all too aware that his lab partner was still firmly and resolutely staring out of the window, behaving as if Jake was invisible. 

_This is fucking stupid_ , Jake thought. 

This lab partner thing wasn’t going to work if Edward couldn’t - _wouldn’t_ \- even talk to him, and Jake wasn’t about to fail this class because of some imagined infraction. 

“Mornin’ Edward,” Jake said, as bright as he could muster in the face of intense brooding.

And...nothing.

“Still not talking to me, hm?” Jake mused. “Is it because you prefer Eddie? Ed? _Eduardo_?”

Beside him, Edward shifted almost imperceptibly but enough that Jake felt a pleased little thrill zip through him. 

Victory would be _his_. 

“Am I gettin’ close, Eds?” He leaned in, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “Is it Eddington? Oh my god it _is_ , isn’t it? It's _Eddington_. Eddington _Bear!_ ”

And then, Edward Cullen fucking _laughed._ It was quiet, and he tried to hide it, but it was there and real and kind of…

... _lovely._

Edward peered up at him, still trying to tamp down a smile by biting on his lower lip. He shook his head and released it with a thoughtful hum, eyes roaming wildly over Jake’s face, taking him all in. 

Like he was trying to figure him out. 

“You’re so -“

But Jake didn’t get to hear what he was as the second bell cut rang out, cutting Edward off. Then Banner was espousing the wonders of the sodium-potassium pump while lowering a projector screen as someone else switched off the lights. 

Ten minutes into a film on cellular transportation, Jake felt a gentle nudge at his elbow. He tilted his head to see Edward leaning in towards him and he mirrored the movement. 

“I uh, I’m sorry if I came across as an asshole,” he whispered. “Before.”

Jake snorted. “‘ _If’_ you came across as an asshole?”

“Fine.” And Jake could almost _hear_ the eye roll. “I’m sorry for being an actual asshole.”

“Why _were_ you being an actual asshole?”

“It - it’s complicated. Family stuff. Bad day.” Edward’s voice, if it was at all possible, grew even quieter. “It wasn’t... _you_.”

Well, Jake could relate to that. Things with Billy were _better_ but he still wouldn’t describe them as _good_. And he got the feeling things had only improved when he started hanging out with Quil and Embry anyway, after the homecoming party. What would Billy say if he hung out with someone from school? Someone like Edward? He probably wouldn’t like it. Not at all. 

It kind of made him want to do it. 

Fuck. Maybe Edward Cullen really was trouble.  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Edward never explained what he meant by ‘family stuff’ and Jake wasn’t about to push him on it. He could empathise of course, he had his own family drama to contend with that he didn’t feel much like launching into, particularly with someone he didn’t really know. Besides, attending school _away_ from La Push was supposed to be his respite from all of that. So he just said ‘I get it’ and Edward offered a smile in return.

He did, however, feel the need to explain the craziness with his eyes. 

Maybe Jake hadn’t been the only one to notice. 

“Tropicamide,” he’d said. “I think my eye doctor may have gotten a little cavalier with the dose but essentially it’s used in examinations to dilate the pupils. It’s really useful for looking at the back of your eye for any -“

“Bleurgh _no!”_ Jake had abruptly cut him off there as Edward’s finger started getting precariously close to his eyeball. “Please just stop.”

Edward snorted a little laugh but did as he asked, returning to the diagram of the sodium-potassium pump they were all meant to be drawing. 

“Anyway, all normal and boring now,” he’d murmured, like an afterthought.

Jake hadn’t said anything in response to that, just made a non-committal sound and pulled his own notebook towards him. Because the thing was, they _weren’t_ normal and boring, not at all. For a start they were _gold_. Not like...gold-gold. No, if Jake were to accurately describe them, they were a warm hazel-brown with flecks of honey gold. 

Like some kind of autumnal fucking forest.

Feeling slightly alarmed by this assessment, Jake had shoved that thought to the back of his mind pretty sharpish and concentrated on his diagram. They worked in silence until the bell went, said their goodbyes and parted ways. 

That’s how it went for a while, a tentative-sort-of-friendliness. 

Jake could tell Edward was a little guarded, didn’t offer up too much of himself unless Jake asked so he tried to keep it fairly innocuous. Edward bit back if Jake teased him though.

“All time favourite band or artist? Oh no wait let me guess - Mr quiet brooding angst loves _The Smiths._ ”

“Fuck you and no, try again.”

(It was a tie between Prokofiev and The Beatles: _Rubber Soul is perfection, on vinyl of course - Vinyl? You hipster! - Such insolence_ . What about Jake? _Pearl Jam forever, with a soft spot for 90s RnB)_. 

Like Jake, Edward was a runner too.

“Oh yeah? What’s your mile time?” 

“Depends who’s chasing me,” he’d said with a smirk, glancing up at Jake through his long ( _obscenely_ long really) eyelashes. 

In that moment Jake thought the appropriate response would have been to roll his eyes or huff out a sarcastic laugh. Instead he leaned in close and said, in a marginally come-hither voice, “think you could outrun me?” 

And then Edward had murmured a soft but challenging ‘maybe’, his gaze fixed on Jake with a steely determination but dropping - briefly, possibly, Jake thought so but it was very blink-and-you’ll-miss-it so he couldn’t _really_ be certain - to Jake’s mouth. 

So...yeah. There was that.

Jake didn’t know how to feel about what that may or may not have been, or what it meant, so he filed the moment away alongside _Edward Cullen’s forest-y eyes_ and chose not to think about it for a while.

* * *

The beach trip had finally been arranged, and Jake found himself surprisingly looking forward to it. 

“You’ll need a proper raincoat,” said Billy, trying to hand Jake some money.

“What? No, I - I can just wear a hoodie or something. Put that away.” 

“You _need_ a _raincoat,_ ” Billy insisted again, snatching Jake’s wrist and shoving the money into his palm. “I want to buy it for you.”

When Jake looked back at his Dad - grumpy and stoic as ever - there was something else there too, a faintly hopeful look in his eyes. So Jake found himself nodding and pocketing the cash as a car pulled up outside.

“That’ll be Charlie and Bella,” Billy said, already brightening as he wheeled himself away. “Can you set the table for dinner?”

Jake hadn’t had much to do with Bella since that day in Bio. He’d seen her a few times in the cafeteria, hand clutched possessively around a cup of coffee and head buried in some book or other. In a weird way, she reminded him of Edward in the early days before their not-quite friendship: approach with caution. Unlike Edward though, Bella seemed to have a low-key dislike for most people at school, rather than just one.

_Besides, Edward likes you now. You’re friends._

Jake frowned at that thought, wondering if it was true as he took out four placemats and four sets of cutlery. They were _friendly_ , and Jake felt like he knew more about Edward than everyone else he’d met at Forks High School put together. But that was just because he’d put more effort into getting to know him - all their time together had been very one-on-one, which encouraged those types of conversations anyway. 

What would Edward be like in a group situation? Who did he sit with at lunch? Jake was fairly sure he’d never seen him in there, but it wasn’t as if he’d actively looked. Who did he hang out with? Were they friendly enough to hang out together outside of school now? 

Did Jake actually want to spend more time with him?

 _Yes_.

He smiled at the thought as their guests walked into the kitchen, where Jake stood next to the empty table, cutlery and placemats still clutched in his hands. 

“Bells can help you find a raincoat,” offered Charlie, twirling spaghetti around his fork.

Dinner had been a much noisier affair than Jake had gotten used to, mostly because Bella and her father seemed to have a considerably more vocal relationship than Jake and Billy.

Bella’s eyes narrowed as her head popped up. “Oh, _can_ she? Because she’s a _girl,_ is it? Because Bells is a _girl_ she knows all about _fashion_ and can _help with the shopping_?”

Charlie didn’t even miss a beat, looking thoughtful. “ _Are_ raincoats fashionable? Hm, I must have missed that in last month's _Vogue.”_

Bella opened her mouth, closed it, eyeing up her father while trying to stifle a grin. “I’m busy,” she said.

“You’re not, you’re grounded.”

“I didn’t think you were serious about that.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You said you _agreed_ with me!”

Charlie let out what Jake assumed was probably not his first long-suffering sigh, and he felt himself warming slightly to his fathers friend. “Be that as it may, I don’t agree with your _delivery_ and calling Mr Berty a - well. Anyway. _That’s_ why you’re grounded.”

Jake peered at Billy, who was observing the other two with an amused sort of detachment. Apparently this dynamic was something of the norm.

“What’s your problem with Berty?” Jake asked. 

Bella rounded on him. “Oh my god. Where do I even _begin_?” 

Jake decided he quite liked listening to Bella talk - or, more accurately, rant. She was wildly expressive, particularly with her hands and she didn’t seem to have any qualms about trying to engage them all in her tirade.

“...if I’m wrong but I don’t think I’m being entirely unreasonable here. I’m not being _picky_ , it’s just I would rather study _literally any other play_.” She huffed and took a sip of water. 

“I thought Romeo and Juliet was supposed to be romantic,” Billy said, apropos of nothing, keeping his voice neutral.

“Romance?” Jake scoffed. “At best it’s a cautionary tale of miscommunication.”

Bella grinned at him, eyes wide and slightly maniacal as she jabbed her fork in his direction. “Yes exactly! _Exactly_.” 

Jake caught a shared look between their fathers, but before he could read anything into it Bella was sweeping him up into a conversation about Coriolanus ( _‘power and politics, it’s very Game of Thrones-y’)_ as well as suggesting they head over to South Street to get his raincoat after dinner.

* * *

Lab practicals were always in their second session of the week - first thing on a Thursday. Such as it was Jake found himself bypassing his locker completely and heading straight to class. 

Edward was already sitting at their table when Jake arrived, offering him a quick once-over. “Should we be anticipating a monsoon?”

“It was raining when I left.” Jake shrugged out of his new coat and shoved it under the table. “And I’ll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself. Can’t imagine that pea coat of yours keeps you dry.”

A hint of a smile tugged at Edward’s lips, his voice teasing. “You don’t like my pea coat?”

Jake did, in fact, very much like Edward’s pea coat and had wondered how he himself would look in a coat like that. Would he look all proper, like Edward did? Definitely not. Edward dressed simply, most of the time. Jeans and plain t-shirts, but they fit him like... _really_ well. Did he get them tailored? Could you even get t-shirts tailored? That coat had to be tailored.

“It doesn’t even have a hood,” Jake grumbled.

And he wanted to be pissed off, he really did. But when he caught Edward’s eye and saw that small smile curving into a wicked little smirk he just couldn’t stop himself from grinning back, and gently shoved him away, like he would with Embry or Quil, his palm landing on Edward’s bare upper arm.

It was like ice, searing into his hand and he yanked it back like he’d been burned.

“Fuck, you’re - you’re like _really_ cold,” Jake blurted out, then immediately felt himself flush when Edward shifted awkwardly next to him. _God you are such a prick, Jake._ “Sorry Eds - Edward. Sorry, I didn’t mean -“

“It’s fine.” Edward shrugged, like Jake hadn’t done anything at all. “It’s uh, kind of a Cullen family curse you know? Terrible circulation.”

Edward huffed out a laugh, like he’d made a joke. Jake ignored him.

“So...you’re just cold all the time?” 

“I’m used to it, it’s really not a big deal.” 

Jake nodded, letting his eyes briefly roam over the pale exposed skin of Edward’s arms, the sinewy muscle taut underneath. 

_Leave it. You should leave it._

“But...but you’d be warmer if you had a sweater or something?”

“I -“ Edward faltered for a moment, looking at Jake with a bemused expression. “Yes, that would be an accurate hypothesis.”

“‘Accurate hypothesis’.” Jake snorted at that, reaching into his bag. “You’re not a science experiment, Eds.”

Jake pulled out his not-very-neatly folded up dark green hoodie and handed it to Edward, who held it carefully looking quite unsure what to do with it.

“It’s clean,” Jake said. “Well, I wore it for about 20 minutes this morning but it was too warm with that _and_ the monsoon jacket. So.” 

Edward looked at the bundle of material in his hands and then peered up at Jake, his face completely unreadable. “I can’t wear this. It’s yours.” 

“You can.” And Jake licked his lips, suddenly feeling nervous. “I don’t mind.”

Fuck. Had he overstepped? Probably. Should he have minded his own business? Almost definitely. Had he made it weird? Yes, obviously. Super fucking weird.

But then...it wasn’t like Edward was handing it _back_. 

In fact, he just seemed to be mulling something over as he ran his thumbs over the soft material, the paleness of his skin standing out against the deep green colour.

“Won’t you be cold?” Edward asked, looking up.

“No.” Jake shook his head. “I’m always really warm, practically the antithesis of you.”

As if needing to prove it, and to reassure Edward that he wasn’t bothered by how cold he was, Jake reached out and wrapped his hand gently around Edward’s wrist. It wasn’t like before. Sure he was just as cold, but Jake was expecting it this time, so there would be no recoiling in horror (which he now realised had probably come across as incredibly rude). 

“See?” Jake said, then Edward smiled back at him, slow and lovely.

Edward put the hoodie on and something warm and rumbly settled happily in Jake’s chest, feeling content. 


	4. Chapter 4

The following day Edward wasn’t in school at all, something which Jake felt pleased about because...well, something had happened on their way out to the parking lot the afternoon before.

Something horrifically embarrassing. 

It hadn’t felt awkward at the time, but - God, Jake hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it the whole drive home. He had even flopped face-first down onto his bed. Had muttered _idiot, idiot, fucking idiot_ into his pillow. 

What Jake had done was this: he’d called Edward perfect, and had then proceeded to _stroke his face._

They were walking out of English, their last class of the day, and fell easily into step beside each other as they listened to Bella and a cheerful girl named Jess bicker back and forth about their essay proposals. Jake had sat with Jess and her friends a few times at lunch, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Bella with them. 

“...and they were _soulmates_!” Jess insisted, her wildly curly hair bouncing around as she threw her arms in the air.

“Soulmates?” Bella released an indignant little huff. “Do you even hear yourself?”

“What clever idea have _you_ got then, hm?” Jess asked. “ _How Rosaline dodged a bullet?_ ” 

“That’s - that’s actually pretty good,” said Bella.

“I was kidding.”

“I know, but I’m kind of into it now you’ve said it.”

Jake and Edward exchanged an amused look as Jess sighed. She sounded remarkably like Charlie Swan, Jake thought. 

“Of course you are,” said Jess, not unkindly. “Rambling on for 2000 words about the idiocy of star-crossed lovers, hardly a stretch for _you_.”

“What do you mean?” Asked Bella. 

“I _mean,_ it’s a little predictable for you to write something like that,” said Jess. “If you wrote, I don’t know, _And They Were Soulmates_ , it’d be much more shocking and controversial.”

“Predictable,” Bella repeated, scandalised. “You think I’m _predictable_?”

The girls had stopped abruptly in the middle of the hallway, and Edward had manoeuvred himself and Jake around them, gently tugging at Jake’s elbow. 

_That Jess is so sneaky_ , thought Jake and when he glanced at Edward, the other boy seemed to have the same idea as his mouth curved up into a knowing smirk. 

“They’ll be there for a while,” he explained, as Jake peered back over his shoulder. 

And suddenly, the hallway felt much, much emptier. Jake realised they hadn’t really ever been... _alone_ alone before, and felt oddly nervous. Any remaining students were dashing out to their cars or to the nearby bus stop as rain hammered down from the grey skies above. They came to a standstill under the eaves of the main entrance, sheltered from the downpour. 

“Huh,” said Jake, turning on the spot to look at Edward. “Would you look at that? Thank fuck I have this _waterproof_ _hooded jacket_ to protect me.” 

Edward had given the hoodie back at the end of English, carefully folded. Jake knew he’d worn it all day, because he felt like he’d kept seeing Edward everywhere - the dark green of it making Edward’s coppery hair stand out like a beacon. In the library, walking through the cafeteria (not taking a seat, just passing through to get to some mysterious location), down the hall and heading into class, always oblivious to Jake’s presence. 

And then finally in English, cuffs pulled over his hands like Edward was trying to keep them warm, chin propped atop his arms, folded across the desk. Jake had smiled to himself, because he’d thought: _fuck he looks so soft and snuggly._

Edward had chosen that exact moment to look over, Jake could see him in his periphery. He’d barely lifted his head but he’d looked right at Jake, a small but nonetheless distinctive crease between his eyebrows. 

It was a bit unsettling really, like Edward had heard him. So Jake had just looked back with a frown and mouthed the word _What?_

Edward briefly shook his head, as if to say _nothing_. Whatever he did after that Jake didn’t know, because he’d opened his copy of Romeo and Juliet and didn’t look Edward’s way again.

Of course Edward hadn’t _actually_ heard him, but that didn’t change the fact that his presence was taking up a bit too much space in Jake’s mind. So, best not to think about him at all. 

But then Edward had dropped the hoodie on Jake’s desk and shrugged into his pea coat and Jake had said something like _‘wait up, I’ll walk out with you’_ which he immediately regretted because Edward’s face did something complicated that he couldn’t read. But he’d lingered, nodded and waited as Jake cleared his desk and off they went. 

Under the eaves, Edward turned too so that they were standing face to face. 

_Close,_ Jake thought, swallowing hard, and then, _freckles._

They were faint enough that it would be easy to miss them; a light smattering across the bridge of Edward’s nose and curving up to the tops of his cheeks. 

Jake had the strongest urge to brush a finger over them. Would he be cold there? Was he cold _everywhere?_

 _Oh my god, you need to stop thinking_ THAT _right now._

Edward inclined his head as if he was about to share a secret. “If only someone had a hoodie they could let me borrow.”

Jake blinked and cleared his throat, forcing out a small laugh. “Oh. Yeah - yeah, of course.” He passed the hoodie back to Edward, practically shoving it into his chest. “Here you go.”

Edward dropped his backpack to the ground and shucked off his coat, handing it over to Jake while he once again slipped into the hoodie.

“What am I your butler?” Jake grumbled, hoping he sounded as faux-irritated as he meant to.

“ _Valet,_ ” said Edward, zipping the hoodie back up. “A _valet_ helps his gentleman get dressed.”

“I’m sorry, his _gentleman_?” Jake burst out laughing. “Is that what you’re supposed to be?”

Edward took his coat back, smirking as he did so. “Are you implying that I’m _not_ a gentleman? How dare you.”

Jake rolled his eyes, but he knew he was still smiling. “Just put your stupid coat back on.”

“You know, you’re pretty rude for a valet,” said Edward, pretending to look a little indignant, but he still did as he was told. “Well, how do I look?” 

Jake made a big show of giving him an elaborate once-over, gripped Edward’s arms and turned him this way and that in a manner that had Edward chuckling. Jake let go and reached up over Edward’s shoulders to the hood that was _mostly_ sticking out of the collar of his coat. He gently tugged it free and straightened it out and pulled it up over Edward’s eternally messy hair. It was much softer than Jake had thought it would be, but he didn’t let himself dwell on that thought for long. 

“There,” he murmured, smiling softly, “now you’re perfect.”

Later on, mentally revising what he could only refer to as The Embarrassing Incident, Jake would decide that a normal person would probably have just left it right there (though if he was being brutally honest with himself, a normal person might also not have said _you’re perfect_ in a strangely affectionate, come-hither tone, but never mind). 

But for some unfathomable reason, Jake saw fit to also reach up and gently run the pad of his thumb over the apple of Edward’s left cheek, over the delicate dusting of freckles he couldn’t seem to stop looking at. 

And Jake thought, for half a heartbeat, that Edward had actually leaned into it, that he’d spotted the faintest bloom of colour in his otherwise pale face. But then Edward had taken a step backwards, looking a little panicked as he opened up the distance between them. 

Jake snatched his hand back, letting it fall to his side as utter mortification slowly unfurled itself in the pit of his belly. “I, uh -“

 _There is literally nothing you can say that will make this better,_ he thought, _abort abort abort!_

“I’m sorry, I have to go,” Edward said quickly, looking away, looking - really - anywhere but at Jake, and then he promptly grabbed his bag and stalked off.

 _Practically ran_ , Jake thought, much later in the solitude of his bedroom, still reeling from the whole encounter, _fleed more like._

So, Edward’s absence from school was more than welcome as far as Jake was concerned. And it was Friday, which meant he had three whole days to forget the entire _thing_ had ever happened.

Not that it was A Thing, obviously. It was barely a thing. It was just Jake, being stupid, getting confused by Edward looking snuggly-soft which made him say stupid things like _you’re perfect,_ and _do_ equally stupid things like -

No.

It was a definite non-thing. Jake had decided. 

_Therefore, absolutely nothing to think about_ , Jake thought, and went about his day. Concentrated on his schoolwork. Sat outside in the sunshine with Jess and her friends at lunch, only half-listening to the pleasant hum of their chatter. He thought he might have agreed to attend a house party by Welcome-to-Forks-Eric, and made a mental note to clarify this later with Jess. 

If anyone else thought Edward’s absence was strange, they didn’t mention it; so Jake briefly allowed himself one whole second to wonder where he was, felt a fresh swell of embarrassment wash over him and then firmly made the decision not to think about Edward Cullen again. 

At least until Monday. 

* * *

The good weather from Friday carried into the weekend as Jake set off for the beach with Quil and Embry in tow. He had offered to drive, so the other two had arrived at his house in the morning with carefully wrapped sandwiches and an array of snacks in a massive cool box. Embry sat with Jake and Billy at the table as they finished breakfast, while Quil took his usual mantle on the kitchen surface.

“Thanks again for driving,” said Embry, one hand curled around a steaming mug of tea, the other propping his chin up. He looked a bit tired, Jake had thought when they’d arrived. Maybe that was just Embry though. He was a bit of a tough one to read.

“S’fine,” said Jake, around a mouthful of toast.

Quil had also snagged a slice as he walked in and chewed on it thoughtfully while he looked down at them all. “So Jake...did you invite any girls or what?”

“Oh my god,” Embry muttered into his tea, at the same time as Billy barked out a laugh.

“ _Girls_ , huh?” Billy said, looking at his son with speculative interest. 

“No,” said Jake, wanting to shut this conversation down immediately.

The last thing he wanted to talk about was _girl stuff_ with his _Dad,_ especially when -

Jake bit into his toast, refusing to finish that train of thought.

“Useless,” Quil grumbled, “Completely useless.”

“You could’ve invited Bella,” Billy chimed in.

“ _Bella_ , hm?” Quil dropped down from the counter to grab another piece of toast.

“She’s grounded, remember?” Jake said, ignoring Quil. 

Billy shrugged, as if it wasn’t of consequence. He never did find out what she’d said to Mr Berty. 

“Is she your girlfriend?” Quil asked.

“No, she’s not,” replied Jake, ignoring the smile he got from Billy. _Oh._ So that’s what the look between him and Charlie had been about. “We’re just friends.”

Quil grinned wolfishly. “So she’s fair game?”

“Don’t be gross,” said Embry, standing up and stretching. “She’s a _person_.”

“And I will treat her like the lady she is,” said Quil, his hand solemn over his heart.

Jake snorted, _ladylike_ wasn’t exactly the first word that came to mind when he thought of Bella Swan. Sarcastic. Smart. Independent. He peered at Embry, having the brief notion that actually _he_ might be the one who would be better suited to dating Bella - _if_ that was any of Jake’s business, which of course it wasn’t. 

They left not long after, conversations of girls long forgotten in the midst of packing up Jake’s truck and squabbling over radio stations for their short journey to the beach.

After meeting up with the others, they spent the majority of the day hiking. Jake relished the physicality of it; he hadn’t often been able to do stuff like this back in Boston, and most of the people he was friendly with preferred to stay in the city. 

He’d started off with Embry and Quil in tow, and within easy range of the others, but it hadn’t been long before he’d completely broken away from the pack and found himself quite alone.

There was something oddly comforting about it, veering off the trail by himself; _a pleasure in the pathless woods,_ he thought, a half-remembered line from a half-remembered poem. Maybe he should come out here by himself more often, take up hiking properly. His sneakers were fine for today but he’d need something more robust. And maybe a day pack with one of those water containers. He could even go camping - this whole area was popular with locals and travellers alike.

He paused when he heard heavy footfalls approaching and looked around, stopping when he spotted a familiar shape moving through the trees in his direction. 

“Sam,” Jake called out, a little surprised, but he raised a hand to give a friendly wave. “Hey.”

Sam Uley was a little older than the others, maybe by a year or two, and seemed to be some sort of unofficial leader of the group. He’d been perfectly civil of course, at the welcoming party and on the few occasions he’d hung out with some of the other guys, but Jake had gotten the impression that Sam just didn’t particularly _like_ him.

Despite the warm welcome he’d received from everyone, and the easy friendship with Quil and Embry, Jake still felt like an outsider, as someone distinctly _other._ But the strange part of all that, was that it seemed as if Sam thought this too, like he didn’t want Jake there.

“You’re alone,” Sam said, when he stopped a few feet away from where Jake was. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” said Jake lightly. “Just exploring.”

Sam nodded. “It’s really peaceful up here.” 

“Mhm,” Jake agreed. 

“We’re heading back down for food,” Sam said eventually, nodding his head for Jake to follow.

 _Oh, guess I’m done with exploring then,_ Jake thought, a little annoyed. But then his stomach growled, betraying him and Sam laughed. 

“Perfect timing I guess,” Jake mumbled.

“So, how’s school?” Sam asked. They were walking back together, Sam a little further ahead with Jake dutifully following. 

“Fine,” Jake replied. “Normal.”

“No trouble?”

_Trouble._

_Fucking Christ._

Jake frowned at Sam’s use of the word. “Nope,” he said.

“Making friends there?” 

It wasn’t an interrogation, Jake _knew_ it wasn’t, but still...he didn’t feel entirely comfortable. It didn’t feel like the easy sort of back-and-forth he had with Embry or Quil or Bella.

 _Or Edward_.

Jake flushed, remembering Friday afternoon. The look on Edward’s face, clearly wanting to get as far away from Jake as possible. 

“Bella Swan’s really nice,” he said eventually. “Charlie’s daughter? We have some classes together.”

“She’s a little rebellious from what I hear,” Sam replied, “it’s a shame her mother isn’t around.”

Jake wasn’t sure how true that was, Bella didn’t talk about her Mom at all and took any punishment doled out to her from school or Charlie with enough good grace. He made a non-committal sound, but didn’t say anything more as they trudged through the sprawling bracken of the woods, grateful as the noise from the others drifted ever closer. 

The rest of the day passed without incident. They got a campfire going, and Jake mostly stuck with Embry as everyone huddled round sharing out the food. Sam occasionally threw a measured look his way, which Jake chose to ignore. 

He didn’t need to be friends with Sam Uley, he decided, he wasn’t losing anything there. Embry shook out a blanket and nudged Jake in the side to share with him, and then Quil settled on his other side with a grin. 

The three of them huddled close together against the chill of the salty night air as someone in the group - Leah, Jake thought her name was - started to regale them all with scary stories of monsters hiding in the dark. 

He quickly forgot about Sam Uley, and didn’t think about Edward at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N - Valet, rhymes with palette. It’s a bit of an outdated term but I liked it :-)  
> -  
> 🖤 comments and kudos are lovely 🖤


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